Vanquished

 

Vanquished

 

your pale skin beneath me
veins visible
feint scrawled blue lines
written in a rush

told you I was colonising
you
my form of resistance:
sleeping with white women

you laughed
grinding harder against
me I was

decolonising my tongue
against your cunt
resisting occupation

by pushing inside you
created countries
divided up your body
arbitrarily

13 days later
you loved me enough
to invade

crossed continents
occupied my bed
no treaties

just an unravelling
your troops threading
across me

you and
clenched fingers
blue grey eyes
dammed water

as you whispered
the sacredness of our
fucking

I gathered your wants
twisted those vines
round an aorta

pumping against your mouth
my heart thrummed
against your lips

you fucked me
in ways I couldn’t fuck you
fucking is a violence
a form of violence

we’re all versed in

my violence was
a hammering fist
in mouth
in ears

no

pummelled into
a mess so enormous
you fled

you weren’t gone
until there were

17,000 air kilometres
between us

an autonomous withdrawal
me pleading for you
to rebuild your settlements

that was your triumph:
I was Fiji
inviting your invasion

you weren’t laughing anymore
cold war skypewatsappfacetime
we have to speak in skin

I can’t reach you
with ones and zeros
spinning grim

come back
you and your army
of fabrication

you and your
cock and bull troops

come back
these peace talks
are useless

transparent time killing
as you seek another outpost
to plant your flag

I’m a nation
at war with itself

tearing cells from
particles

from meat
matter dissolving in nuclear
explosions

this is on you
you pulled out
too soon

all you ever cared about
was the incursion
once the capture
was complete

you instigated your retreat

Candy Royalle

Author: Candy Royalle

Candy Royalle is an award winning writer, performer, educator and activist endeavouring to create nuanced, accessible and visceral work as a point of difference to those who use literature as a form of elitism and oppression. She is the recipient of multiple residencies including a current City of Sydney Live Work/Create residency and is currently working on multiple commissions. She believes storytelling is a form of activism – rehumanising the dehumanised in order to combat the language of the ruling class. Sometimes, Candy just writes about love, in all its brutal glory.