They always greet me with this:
‘Come here alone, have you?’
But wherever I go I bring my shadow
…forever and forever, it is the shadows that have helped me
By lighting up the surroundings
When there is no light, I fold it
Inside my body
It is not till I rise and move around
That I draw it out
—that is a feeling I like
It’s like drawing out part of the darkness inside my body
Like the used-up feelings or individualism
Like a handle
—although no one could get hold of it
Even as I leave, it manages to extricate itself
From a complicated situation
Truth, secrecy, transformation…like the soul’s
Double dwelling
The shadow that sways
Enough to sustain my stability and when sleep
Presses us tightly together
—I prefer to merge into one
To dream is to enjoy and to remember
Is to disappear
—not even the sunlight could separate us
I carry
A soul’s abbey
Matter that is more immaterial than light
Written in Chinese by Hu Xian
Translated into English by Ouyang Yu